Embracing Identity
"Hello my name is Ryan, I am Autistic.
I can tell you at least 15 facts about space, I have 2 brothers and I like spinning.
I also hate loud noises, especially hand dryers, I don’t like my food on my plate touching and my favourite thing to do is going really really high on the swings."
It was a beautiful learnt introduction that Ryan had created for himself. At 8 years old he had created a beautiful acceptance of who he was and his identity. Part of that being Autistic.
Flip to Cathy. Cathy was 16. Her proclamation in every lesson was "I can’t, I’m Autistic", she would also say things like "I hate myself, I hate Autism, I want to get rid of it."
For Cathy Autism was something negative, something she was diagnosed later in life with and for her the ‘cause’ of all her problems. The reality was Cathy was struggling with her identity. To her, Autism was described as something negative, a lack and she hated herself as a result. For Ryan, it was just part of who he was, he loved being Ryan, he loved being Autistic and it had been something that was spoken about since day 1 of his diagnosis journey in a positive way.
Do I tell my child about their diagnosis? It is one of the top 10 questions I get asked as a professional. My simple answer is yes. If you hide their diagnosis from them, if you don’t talk about Autism the subconscious message you are giving them is ‘this is something to be ashamed of’.
So how? How do you tell them? Here are some of my top tips
Start by talking about how everyone's brain acts differently (use yourself and family members as example)
Focus on the positives
Use the word Autism openly around your home
Use stories and books as support
Use the visual of the spectrum wheel to help increase understanding how everyone is different.
Use positive role models. For older children it might be a celebrity or business person. For young children the title character from Pablo or Julia from Sesame Street.